There are some things that are hard to explain even to other hikers on the trail. Today was going to be one of those days. Universally all hikers know that what happens in the woods, stays in the woods. I suppose that is until today's story where I will divulge it to you my friends.
So on one of our last snow hikes, Nova's bad knee flared up and then gave out on her a couple of days later. We both have bad knees....mine is my left and hers is her right. This means she needs a break from hiking, potentially for a couple of months. I know that it would kill a piece of her soul and my own to drive away on hiking day and leave her face staring at Josie and I from my front living room window. I needed to find a way to not leave my best partner behind! Nova and I are one. After over 4 years of weekly hiking together, we truly are the same. We both like to hike hard and fast and get to our destination. We are both goal setters and often won't eat, drink or rest when we hike. But when we do stop, we both sleep hard and curl up spooning in a sleeping bag within seconds of hitting it. We both love being outside and smelling the fresh air and exploring. Neither of us like change and are creatures of habit. We both get cold super easily, yet love high elevations. Our favorite hiking seasons are Summer and Fall. We don't love deep snow or ticks. But we find flowers and snakes fascinating. She knows I will carry her over any deep river fords and to do her part, she doggie paddles in the air to help me. We rock climb in unison and always communicate just through our motions and the pull of the leash between us. I am her and she is me. I am not sure if she is part human or I am part canine, and I honestly don't care. All I do know is that I would rather be with my NovaLeigh Mae than anyone else on planet Earth.
This is what led to the part of today's hike that would be real hard to explain if I ran into any other human. I had purchased a toddler carrying backpack to put Nova in so she could still come along. To be fair, I started with canine carrying backpacks, but they didn't make any big enough for poor Nova. If I cut her in half, she might fit in the largest one I could find. That was not an option. At 35 pounds, I guess most people don't want to carry her on their back. But toddler backpacks are rated to carry up to 40 pounds. Of course, she would have to wear clothes, because she gets cold especially when she is not moving. So I put her in a good winter coat with a fur lined hood, along with thick pink toddler sweatpants and winter infant socks for her back feet. I clipped her pink harness into the 5 point child harness system and put her hind legs through the leg holes. The pack even had a kickstand so it could stand upright on its own.
Now, my only real problem was that between Nova's body weight, her clothing weight and the weight of the pack itself, I was at about a 50 pound load. Not just any load, but a live, moving load. Fine if you are 300 pounds I suppose. But I am just over 100 pounds myself and the span of this pack was about as long as I am tall at 4 foot 10 inches. So it was a bit of a sight to behold on me and I knew that. I had chosen a trail where I thought no one would be as I will admit I didn't want to explain myself. I knew this would look nuts to say the least. Not that I generally care what any human thinks.....but can you imagine what you would think if you saw a toddler in a fur lined coat and pink pants on someone's back, but then when she turned her head, it was a dog you were looking at???
To work the kinks out, I put Nova in the pack when it first arrived by an Amazon Driver who knows my house well (mostly for all the dog clothes and hiking gear I buy). My husband was home and I planned to use him as a spotter for our initial attempt to get Nova on and off my back. If she panicked when I lifted her up, I wanted him to catch her. He had no idea that I had purchased the toddler pack and shook his head silently when he saw Nova strapped into it. Nova started to shiver and shake when I first put her in the pack, not knowing what to expect. I got down on my knees, pulled the straps over my shoulders and slowly rose to my feet. My husband stayed behind me and gave me reports as I walked around and around the large tree in the center of my driveway. "Tell me what her face is saying." I asked him over and over. Being a man, he can't read doggie faces, so he just told me she was looking around from side to side. "No, does she look scared or relaxed?" I asked again. "She looks fine." is the best I got from him. I could feel her shaking had stopped as we walked around and around. Then I found a small rectangular mirror in the pocket of the pack. This was for holding up to watch what your baby is doing. I was super excited about this mirror and walked holding it up and watching her face myself. She was super relaxed and seemed to be enjoying herself.
I, however, looked at my husband who was now leaning against his vehicle with his arms crossed. He was shaking his head and looking rather more concerned than either myself or Nova. I could see he was calculating calling our insurance agent first thing Monday morning to increase the life insurance policy on me. Probably not a bad idea realistically.
After about 10 to 15 minutes of practicing in the driveway, I could tell my shoulders, spine and legs were already hurting. This was going to be hard, but I knew with a little determination, we could do it. All I needed to know was that Nova was okay in the backpack and the rest was on me. I mean when I am 80 years old with knees that can no longer walk, I would surely hop on the back of any rugged and bearded mountain man who offered to carry me up the trail. Well, who is kidding who, I would hop right on that man today if I ran into him on the trail and he offered me a ride.
What I needed was to find a trail that had minimal elevation gain, ideally little to no snow (sorry Josie), no river fords, no bouldering, ideally no blowdowns (fallen trees to climb over or under) and no humans. That would about be impossible in the Columbia River Gorge and its surrounding areas in February. But one trail came to mind immediately. I had only done it once in the Spring and I felt it was as close a fit as I could get. So off we went.
I will admit, I was nervous. One of my biggest fears was if I took a fall with Nova on my back. Traditionally, when I fall, I fall backwards onto my pack on purpose. It pads me fairly well. When you do the kind of fast, hard hiking and climbing we do, falls are inevitable. So I told myself over and over to make sure I fall on my face or sides if I feel myself going down. I repeatedly pictured this in my mind to help overcome my current instincts of falling back. I wanted to have Nova with us, but I did not want to cause her any harm in the process.
As we arrived at the trailhead, I was disappointed to see that there was one other truck, a red Toyota, blocking the gate that says to not park in front of it. I parked a little ways away, not blocking the gate, along the side of the road. I was immediately embarrassed that I would be running into at least one person on trail and was trying to decide if I should acknowledge that there was a dog on my back or just pretend this was totally normal. I figured I would just wait to see what they said first and go from there.
It took most of my strength to get Nova up onto my back as the parking spot was deeply slanted alongside the road. As soon as I stood my legs became super unsteady making me wobble to my left and then wobble to my right before I got control of myself. I forced myself to not reach out to my truck to steady ourselves. I had to get my sea legs under me on my own. The next challenge would be to tie the Wolf Josie to the tactical belt at my waist. During our practice time at home, I did not add this challenge. Today I would be. With how wobbly I felt just staying upright with the 50 pounds on my back, I dreaded having the Wolf's 60-65 pounds pulling me forward. But I tied her on nonetheless and we started a slow walk up the path to the trail. I don't think I have ever moved more slowly in my life.
We had made it about half a mile. I was feeling like we had already hiked ten, but my legs and spine were getting use to it. "We can do this!!" I smiled and said to no one in particular. Josie was actually being really good and although she was temporarily surprised to find Nova on my back, she accepted it pretty quickly and moved on in the lead position. But then we saw it. A human far up the trail. I guessed it to be female from the purple rain coat that I could see through the trees. After a few more steps, I saw something else that made my blood freeze. There was a large dog with her and it had just seen us and started charging toward us from the distance. There was no leash on the dog. The female hiker half-heartedly tried to grab him, but she didn't seem to take what was happening seriously. Must be because she couldn't see that I was hiking with a Wolf with warning labels on her sides I thought. Or she was distracted trying to figure out what was on my back. But when I started yelling "oh shit, oh shit, oh shit" and ran off trail trying to drag Josie off into the trees she seemed to realize that more than one of us should be concerned.
But by then it was too late. The 90-95 pound male yellow lab whose hackles were up and had run at us snarling and growling was now in Josie's face. Josie took no time to put herself between myself and that strange snarling dog. Her fangs were fully exposed and she was snapping force-ably, just like, well, a wolf. Since Josie is only 60-65 pounds, I knew this male had the weight advantage. But they were almost the same height, with Josie maybe being a tiny bit taller. She is all legs and fluff that girl. I started out trying to pull Josie back and away, but the male dog kept following us and I feared that the more I pulled against Josie, the more that might give him an advantage in the fight. I was barely staying on my feet with Nova's weight moving on my back and gravity pushing me down, all while Josie was in a full and vicious brawl pulling and tugging me in every direction. I started to look around me in desperation for a tree to hold onto, but they were too far away for me to reach with all the pulling against my waist. In my head I was screaming "Rip him to shreds Josie!!", but out of my mouth I was just yelling "Get back! Get back!" over and over. No one was listening. The sound of the two beasts fighting their death match was so loud I don't think either dog could hear me anyway.
So many things were going on in my head all at once. I was seeing Josie sink her teeth around this dog's neck and smash him into the ground beneath her, but he was not giving up. I knew my girls were on leash or contained. This other dog was the instigator and he was at fault. So I found myself not really caring what happened to him. As long as my girls were okay is what mattered to me. Josie clearly and quickly had the upper hand in this dual. At one point the male tried to skirt around her and I think was coming for me or Nova, but Josie immediately blocked him and became even more aggressive. She was going to be our heroine in this fight.
About this time, the female owner of the yellow Lab finally showed up running right into the mix. I was still yelling "get back" because at this point in time I knew Josie would see her as just another threat running at her Momma. But instinct is instinct and that woman kept grabbing for her own dog, even with Josie snapping inches from her hands. The voice inside me just reminded me that my dogs were contained and this was her fault, so whatever happens, happens. But the worst thing was starting to happen to me. Everything turned to slow motion as it did.
Nova decided she could no longer sit still in a toddler backpack through all the snarling, growling, teeth snapping, yelling and screaming. She somehow found the leverage to try to jump over my left shoulder into the very fray to help her Sister. Yet what she didn't calculate in that was that she was still strapped in. The sudden jerking momentum from her diving toward my left shoulder though was the straw that would break this camel's back. I felt myself going down to the left in the direction Nova had jumped...right toward the fighting beasts. Just then Josie and the Lab twirled around behind me as I think the other owner had gotten a hold of her dog and was pulling him away in the opposite direction. My legs and feet were already in mid air as this was happening. So while Nova's weight was taking my front end down (forward and to my left), Josie's pull was taking my lower half with her (behind me and to my right). I think I did a full body mid-air rotation....pretty cool if anyone could have caught that on video....but not so cool to feel. Every vertebrae in my spine seemed to crack while I was still airborne and being pulled in two separate directions. Surely this move would have made any Chiropractor proud.
All I could think mid air was to not land on my back. I had to protect the baby at all costs. So I somehow twisted and turned some more while still in the air aiming to land on my face. While this was happening and I was still in the air, I heard the Mother of curse words coming out of my mouth, in a long drawn out sound that seemed to echo up off the river nearby. That is until my face was laying in cold wet leaves and dirt. I could smell the dirt. I could taste the dirt. By then a very steady stream of curse words just started to pour forth out of my mouth. I did not even know I knew some of those words. Sailors on all the high seas world wide were surely blushing in unison. It was not my best moment I can tell you that. I wiggled back and forth like a worm on the ground trying to just sit up, but the weight of Nova in her pack on top of me would not allow it. I feared the Lab rushing to attack us now that we were both on the ground and I desperately hoped that Josie was still protecting us. I had to undo the buckles (without releasing the Wolf) and slowly slide the pack to the ground in order to roll up onto my knees, free from the weight.
My first priority was to make sure Nova was okay and stand her back upright in her pack. She was fine and still strapped in, but her eyes were huge round saucers and her pink pants had fallen down. I think she had jumped right out of them! I looked up to check the location of the Lab and see how Josie was doing. The Lab was gone. Josie was standing alone and still pulling against me wanting to run down the trail toward the trailhead. I realized the sounds of fighting had stopped for several minutes as I was falling through the air and struggling on the ground. I mostly didn't realize things had quieted down behind me because of the steady stream of loud cursing still coming out of my mouth. But now I realized that the dog was gone and so was his owner. I looked up and down the trail and couldn't see any sign of them. It was as if they had grown wings and flown off or ran real fast. "Are you kidding me??" I screamed super loud down the trail, followed by many more choice words that I am ashamed to admit were even in my vocabulary. That woman had taken off without even checking to see if we were okay or apologize for her dog being off leash. I had already pretty much lost all faith in humanity anyway, but this did it. This broke all good will for man that was left inside me.
Finally, I decided to stand up and brush off the dirt and get a full assessment of our situation. The moment I attempted this, I realized I could not bear weight on my left leg. There was truly excruciating pain coming from my femur. My first thought was that I had broken a bone. I wasn't sure what exactly had happened to it. I could not tell you if I landed with my leg straight or bent. I don't know if it landed on a rock. I was oblivious to my body. At that time my only priority was not landing on Nova, so I did not pay attention to my own body despite the cracking, twisting and pulling. I think I do now know what the old torture stretch device felt like though. The brief pause from my cursing instantly ended the more I tried to stand on that left leg and I started screaming obscenities once again. I always say I only have two emotions.....anger and hunger. This was all anger. Anger that we had been attacked needlessly. Anger that I was now injured. Anger that I might have to drag ourselves back to the truck and only get in one mile for our hike today. Anger that the other hiker would leave like she did after what she caused.
I was bent over with my hands on my knees moaning when I heard it. It was a quiet voice from far away. I looked up facing the trail toward the trailhead, when I saw the woman in the purple jacket standing alone. She had gotten her dog back on a leash and tied him to a tree far down the trail and come back to check on me and apologize. I suddenly realized with great conviction that she had probably been standing there for some time waiting until my yelling and cursing stopped before talking to me. But she was there. Realizing that not all humans were bad and I could maybe have some hope for humanity yet, I answered her question if I was okay. "Yeah, I don't think anything is actually broken, just bruised." I calmly said as if the cursing human had not been me. I was feeling up and down my left leg and realized the bone was in tact. Of course at this time when I told her nothing was broken, I did not know that the face of my pedometer that was on my left side was smashed.
She profusely apologized for her dog and did not say anything about my having Nova in a toddler backpack. "Well at least we skirted that issue." I said to the girls as the woman left to get her dog and head for her truck. By this time, I had examined Josie and she did not have a single scratch on her. "Good girl," I said and patted her head as she smiled up at me. I could tell she wanted more time with that Lab and looked longingly down the trail after them. I examined my leg further and although it felt like daggers stabbing into the meaty part of my upper thigh down to the very bone every time I put weight on it or tried to bend it, it was working. "Just another day on the trail" I thought. I questioned if my adrenaline was clouding my judgement as to the extent of the injury, but figured it was most likely a torn or pulled muscle only. That is sissy stuff I told myself. So when the drill sergeant who lives in my head came out to talk to me, I listened. "You will put Nova back on your back and walk it off. Suck it up right now. The worst is over and you will continue your hike today," he told me quite emphatically. "Yes sir" was my only response. I ultimately know that my strength comes from the Lord, so I silently prayed that He fill me up with all the strength my petite body could hold.
Squatting back down and pulling Nova off the ground was one of the hardest things imaginable with my leg injury. But I did it. By the time we hit the trail again, I was sweating like an eccentric woman at the Salem Witch Trials. After a few moments, I remembered I had the mirror in my side pocket and pulled it out so I could see Nova's face. The mirror, which had been on my left side, was broken in two. Go figure. But I took a look through the largest piece remaining anyway.
She seemed okay. "Let's hike Ladies," I said out-loud and we very slowly and painfully started to move up the trail. The trail curved through the woods and was gaining elevation faster than I remembered. Surely that was the difference of the weight of my pack from today and that Spring hike. I did find it ironic that the worst attack on the trail that we have ever experienced occurred on the only day I did not have my emergency or first aid kit with me. I knew that was breaking my cardinal rule, but since I was maxing out pack weight today, I cut everything. Nova was my priority. I did not even bring food or water or extra layers in my pack. I just figured we could make it back to the truck for those things when we were done. I had put one half liter bottle of emergency water in Josie's pack and she carried some treats and a flashlight. I had thrown my hat, gloves and crampons in the bottom of the toddler pack, but that was it. Of course with all my sweating, screaming and eating dirt during our fall, I was thirsty beyond words. Luckily there were snow patches all around, so I just took handfuls of that to hydrate with. Josie, of course, was happy to sit on every patch of snow she could find. Usually before I could get my handful to eat of course. I handed snow back to Nova and she happily ate some too.
My leg was burning and still feeling like knives stabbing into it, when I realized that Nova had somehow shifted on my back. Both her back legs, tail and butt where slipping out the left side leg hole. Her front legs and face were clinging to the right side of the pack. I could not figure out how she was falling out of the pack and feared she was going to be strangled by the harness across her chest and neck. I tried to push her back in, but it was not working and she didn't budge. Ultimately I knew I would have to take her off my back and figure out what was happening. Squatting down to safely get her off was misery. I pulled her completely out of the pack, adjusting buckles and straps, before resetting her in there. I made sure she was as comfortable and straight as possible and then struggled to get her back on before standing with mostly just my right leg. We continued onward while I grappled to think of anything other than the pain in my leg. I tried to focus on the views around us and enjoy the dry weather and blue skies. Josie seemed to be the most successful at enjoying herself on the trail. She was clearly on a high from being our heroine.
After only another half mile or so, I found Nova was falling out of the left side of the pack once more. I again, tried to push her back in, but she kept slipping out. I could not figure out what was going on, but had to drop the pack once again. This time it became clear that this pack would only work for her if it had solid sides. I messed around with all its straps and webbing and could not find a way to make it more secure for her. I could feel the anger welling up in me once again. I felt that we would just have to turn back to the truck, but I did not want to. In a burst of determination, I told the girls that we were going to "MacGyver the shit" out of this pack here in the woods if it killed me. I looked around us at the branches and ferns, rocks and roots. But then I remembered I had also stuck Nova's red leash in the bottom of the toddler pack in case we needed it during a break time. I pulled it out and wrapped it twice around the pack creating an additional barrier on the open sides. "Take that MacGyver!" I said out-loud.
At this point in time Josie was getting bored of all the stops and adjusting of the pack and decided she should try to just save her Sister from the contraption altogether.
I checked Nova to see if she felt warm enough and she was nice and toasty in her coat. So somehow, I hoisted her back onto my back yet again and we continued up the trail with Josie in the lead and taking her role as lookout extra seriously. As the trail was slowly ascending, we were running into more snow. Josie loved it, but it was challenging for me without my crampons on and with legs like jello in the flavor of pain. I could feel Nova shifting a bit more in the pack and knew that the strapping would get uncomfortable against her legs before long. She also kept shifting in a way that made me concerned she would hurt her bad knee. So I called the hike and told the girls we were turning around and heading back to the truck. There was mild grumbling, mostly from me and Josie. Nova seemed ready to go, but then again, she didn't have much of a choice.
As we hiked out, I made three plans. One was to get on my treadmill when we got home to get in more miles for the day, because this hike was far too short. The next was to google my leg pain and see what I should really be worried about. Good old Doctor Google. Finally, the third thing I focused on was alternate plans for hiking with Nova. It was dawning on me that I might have to find a way to go without her. I figured I could only do that if I changed my hiking day to be on a day when my husband works from home so she would not be alone. She does love her Papa and maybe Josie and I could sneak out the backdoor and side gate while she sat on the couch with him. Of course that was before I got the idea of an all-terrain stroller in my head. Poor Amazon driver---I apologize in advance to you!
When we neared back down to the river and the place where the dog attack took place, Josie got all ramped up itching for another fight. It was as if she thought that dog lived here along this peaceful river. Let it go Josie, just let it go. Let's just enjoy the river we didn't get to enjoy our first time through.
On that final half mile walk back to the truck, I was so thankful that I had called the hike when I did. I could feel that Nova was growing uncomfortable as she kept shifting in the pack. My own shoulders, back and leg were on fire. I wasn't sure how much longer I could keep moving. I was more tired and sore from this 5 mile hike than the time I did a 23 mile day hike without eating or taking a single break as a fun challenge to myself. Normally the rhythm of walking in the woods helps me relax and process my thoughts while spending time with God and my favorite hiking partners. Normally I return to my truck tired but incredibly relaxed and happy. This was the first time coming off a trail that I did not feel that way. I felt God telling me I need to learn to be content in all things; through all seasons, all conditions and through all trials. I knew I was proud of Josie for saving us and I was proud of Nova for being willing to jump into the fray. They were content to take the day as it went down. They didn't question why or grow angry and curse. They handled it like champions because my girls are tough, resilient and perfect. I could learn a thing or two from them. Now I know why God blessed me with these two.
In closing, I will share with you some of the overhead camera checks I did on Nova during the hike. Since my mirror was broken, I used my camera to watch her. She never slept, but always looked around and was ever watchful.
They are both just perfect in every way.......thank you Nova and Josie! Josie, if we are ever attacked by a bear or mountain lion, I have no fear that you will win. You are a good Wolf despite how naughty you can be!
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