2026-E

It was just the Wolf and I for today's hike. I swear that I really tried to be careful on this one since I knew we were likely to get ourselves in trouble. The feeling of danger followed us all the way up the mountain to the trailhead. But I had chosen a mountain trail that we knew well. There would be no major river fords to tempt us to make bad choices. There was no way we could get lost. The snow was melted back so much, there likely would be no wild glissading. It should have been a safe cake walk. I tried to set us up for success on this maiden voyage without Nova, but, as always, bad choices just have a way of presenting themselves to us on the trail. Or maybe this is just a reflection on me.

You see, we learned long ago that when Miss Novaleigh Mae is with us, she is the acting safety officer in our hiking party. I will (mostly) draw the line at anything I think could end up with one of us being dead when she hikes with us. That doesn't mean it has always been perfect though. We have all almost ended up dead a time or two even with Nova in our hiking party. But it is certainly worse when the Wolf and I are alone on trail together. We just push each other to unhealthy levels and somehow both think it is funny in the midst of the adventure. I won't say that it isn't fun, because it surely is. The adrenaline is also pretty spectacular with the two of us I must admit. The Wolf and I are developing our own very special bond on these solo outings.

Today's adventure was our first hike without Nova as she was three weeks post major knee surgery to repair another torn cruciate ligament. Now that her staples were out, she could be left at home with her Papa and Josie and I would hit the trail alone. We hated to leave her, but knew she would be back on the trail soon if we gave her the time to heal. This was her second TPLO surgery and her knees were now surely bionic with lots of metal plates and screws in them!

As we drove toward the mountain, we were encased in thick wildfire smoke. There were huge fires throughout both Washington and Oregon sending smoke to cover pretty much everything. I naively figured that hiking in such thick smoke would be the most dangerous part of our day. A friend had reminded me before the hike that being outside in this kind of smoke would be like smoking 7 cigarettes. But since I have never smoked in my life, I figured my lungs could take it. Besides, the conditions meant I would likely not see another human on the trail (which was true).

I have to admit that at times things seemed a bit apocalyptic when bees were falling from the sky, still alive, but apparently stunned by the thick smoke. I debated calling the hike quits while in the thick smoke that made oxygenating difficult. But thankfully after pushing a bit further, we soon found ourselves mostly above the smoke-line on the mountain. It was a treat to see blue skies again after days of being surrounded by smokey conditions.

There are a number of different trails up in this area and I had a plan all laid out in my head of which ones to take. I would actually be connecting seven different trails during the day which always excites me! There would be one tiny connector section that I had technically not done before, but I wasn't worried about that. What surprised me the most is that normally in the first week of August, I would still be eating wild huckleberries by the handful and seeing tons of wildflowers. I did find a total of 4 berries...but they tasted past their prime. There were still flowers, but nothing like there normally are. I could see these consequences from such a low snow pack and dry conditions this last winter. It made my heart sad. Luckily the water falls were still beautiful, even if they were running at lower levels then they normally do this time of year.

One of the things I love most about this trail is how it feels like another world. I call it "Narnia" every time I walk through this main section. There are streams going every which way, small waterfalls gurgling over moss covered rocks, flowers of most every color popping up, the snowy peak of the mountain just above us, scents of warm pine needles and vegetation all around, and generally a soothing breeze flowing over you as you meander along. It is just surreal and one of my favorite places on earth. In case you wonder why I called it Narnia, one October when I was hiking here, the path before the Narnia section was clear, brown and dry. Fall colors were abounding. But the moment I crossed this virtually straight line demarcating my favorite section, it was snowing....hard. I could hop back and forth over the line from snow to no snow. It was an amazing moment and just like I had moved through the infamous wardrobe. The entire time I had hiked in Narnia that day it snowed. The snow piled up. My water bladder froze as temps dropped. But when I came back to that "wardrobe line", I crossed back over into Fall and there was not a single of flake of snow on the ground or in the air. My water thawed as I hiked back to the truck. I will never, not ever, forget that day as one of my most magical of hikes. It truly cemented this trail as one of my favorites forever in my brain.

I was remembering that hike and reminiscing about all my times up here as I moved quietly behind the Wolf to the special place I wanted to visit. You see, today, was August 5th and the anniversary of my Father's death. I wanted to visit the special meadow that I made his final resting place. It would be my first time back to visit him since I left him here almost one year ago to the day. It was likely just in my head, but I could swear that I felt him talking to me as we approached. We stayed on trail until the secret off trail junction that I knew I would need to take to get to him.

As I found the special boulders and flower filled meadow along the stream, I pulled my pack and camera bag off so I could lay out on the rocks in the sun. There was still a light haze of smoke in the air, but it wasn't bad at all. I almost instantly fell into a deep sleep lulled by the gurgling brook at our feet. Josie slept just beneath me closer to the water so she could lay partially in the cold stream on the hot day. It was perfection and I should have easily slept for at least an hour as I normally do on my hikes. But I startled awake with a jolt after only about ten or fifteen minutes. There was a large human sized shadow moving behind me from left to right, making no noise at all. I turned to my left, then to my right, then sat up to view all around me. Nothing and no one was there. While my heart was pounding from the shock of the moment, I felt no fear. "Hey Dad" I said and raised a hand behind me to high five him before laying back down to sleep. Sadly, my Dad must have been feeling rather festive because he woke me up at least 5 more times during my fit-full cat nap. I finally gave up and just sat there to talk to him before telling him we would have to keep moving if we were to make all the trails we wanted on our loop. As we walked away from him, I waved good-bye and could feel him smile.

I am not one who generally feels any emotion. Sure I feel hunger. I am often cold. I definitely can feel anger. But that is about it. Some people call me a bit robotic; which I own. But as I walked away from that nap with all the shadows moving around me and the strong feeling of my Dad being so happy in his mountain home, I felt something deep inside my chest. "Huh" I said to Josie. "I think I am feeling emotion somewhere inside me." I smiled at the overwhelming peace filling my body from my head to my toes. God how I loved this trail I thought. Somehow, when I die, I have to know someone who can bring my ashes to this place.

As we continued down one trail after another, we could really feel the over 90 degree heat now that the layer of smoke was no longer protecting us from the sun. I was sweating profusely and Josie kept stopping to cool off her toes in the streams.

We enjoyed the views and still couldn't believe our luck in having the trail all to ourselves. The sun was getting lower in the sky as it was almost 6pm. I debated which trails to take. Part of me wanted to change plans and veer off for the lake I love near here. It was truly a choose your own adventure kind of day. I stopped at two of my favorite places to enjoy a lovely stream and some Indian Paintbrush, but then kept pushing for our original plan to climb a ridge for the upper views.

I almost wanted to hum as we hiked along, but I have a rule about generally trying to not make any noise. So I hummed inside my head without a care in the world. I could feel the same from Josie. We were absolutely enjoying every moment of the hike. But upon coming around a sharp corner, we both were startled once more by what was just up ahead of us. We instantly stopped. Josie was very excited and wanted to run toward the creature. I gave a strong tug on her line to make sure she knew that was not going to happen. She lifted her front feet off the ground, rearing up into the air, to tell me she emphatically wanted to run toward what was in front of us. By some miracle, the large ball of black moving around and snuffling in some bushes ahead of us, had not seen, heard or smelled us.

This was the moment when I could have made wiser decisions. This was the moment I failed. I knew full well what I should do in this moment that seemed as if time had stopped. In fact, it was like a movie reel in my head telling me to "clap your hands and call out 'bear, bear bear' " so that you never startle a bear on trail. I chose to ignore that advice. I fully committed to making a very bad, but exciting, choice. I told myself that we were close enough that by calling out, we would just startle him no matter what. So Josie and I both instantly had a plan and we were sticking to it! Clearly using the telepathy you can only have if you have hiked over 100o miles with someone, we both decided to see how close we could sneak up to the bear. I mean isn't that on a bucket list somewhere? Get the drop on a wild blackbear??

Yes, friends, I do not recommend this at home. Do not do what I do. You should always, always walk away from a bear. Never sneak up on one! That is not a sound plan!

Okay, that said, and my liability now covered, let me just tell you.....I could not believe how close we got. Far closer than I ever thought possible. I blame the wildfire smoke for messing up the bear's senses. Or maybe it was just because we are really, really good at tiptoeing through brush without making a sound. I wanted to giggle while we were sneaking up to him. But in my head I kept seeing all the news stories of hikers being mauled to death by black bears this year. So I tried to remain serious. "Get it together" my inside voice said. But the silly part of me was silently screaming that this was the best time ever!!! Common sense was out the window and I was going to make a new friend today!

We easily knew the moment the bear knew we were there. He, startled, jumped up with his front claws on the tree trunk closest to him. At first I thought he was just going to climb the tree. "Perfect" I thought. Then I could stand under the tree and get a bunch of pics. But that is not what happened. The bear only put his feet on the tree to be ready to climb, then turned his head to look toward me....and only me. We made dead eye contact. My camera, which was already in my hands, made a loud C-L-I-C-K as I took a photo. He dropped his feet out of the tree then and moved straight toward me without breaking eye contact.

That was the moment my inside voice screamed...."Oh" curse word, curse word, curse word. It was a machine gun splattering of words that rhyme with 'truck' in my head. Great...that would be my last word before I was going to die. I slightly regretted my choices in that moment and realized I had stopped breathing. I could feel sweat running down my body. The super loud sound of blood rushing through my ears was all I could hear. Time stopped even more. This was the moment I realized we were too close for me to put down the camera and even grab my gun out of my holster to get a shot into the air if he kept coming. I en-visualized trying to get my gun in my right hand and my knife in my left, but knew it was too late. I had a camera in my hands instead. So I did what any normal person would do. C-L-I-C-K. C-L-I-C-K. I kept taking pictures as his paws moved over a downed log slowly toward me without ever breaking eye contact. I could see the flash of white teeth every time he opened his mouth to scent me.

The Wolf, who was standing silent and perfectly still six feet to my right must have blinked, or moved, or thought something too loudly, because the bear suddenly broke eye contact with me and looked at her. He froze. Josie and I were still frozen. I could hear nothing but the rushing in my ears. Surely everyone could hear my heart pounding I thought.

I watched the bear watch the Wolf. Neither blinked. Neither moved. Then the bear backed up several steps and put his front feet back on the tree trunk, standing to his full height. At this moment, I suddenly felt that my legs had turned to jello. I had to shift slightly on my feet to not feel like I was going to collapse to the ground. That would not help me. I was going to stand my ground no matter what happened.

As the bear peeked through the tree branches at me once more, I couldn't help it.

C-L-I-C-K. I took another picture. He dropped from the tree and started moving straight toward me again, eyes locked into mine as if he was sucking my soul right out of my body.

"Okay, this is not going well" I thought. Clearly I need to stop taking pictures." C-L-I-C-K. Clearly I could not. (When I die on the trail, someone please check the SD card in my camera. I can just about guarantee it will be worth your while).

Our new bear friend did the back and forth dance moving toward me and and then back to standing on the tree over and over again. The Wolf and I never moved from our position. But I did start to feel like maybe we should start moving a few feet forward, then a few feet back to mimic him. If only I could slap myself I thought in that moment. But I was in a bear trance and could not come out of it. A deep, deep bear trance. Who knew such a thing existed? I should have hiked with honey was my only thought at that moment, barely discernable over my pounding heart.

After what felt like a lifetime, I finally decided I had to stop the back and forth dance. The 'I am going to die' vs 'I am going to live' feelings were wearing on my jello legs. So I decided that since I so strongly believe that every woodland creature we find should be my friend, it only seemed right for me to start to converse audibly with him. Now, I am not totally stupid and I do learn from some of my previous mistakes. In the past, every time I do the high pitch baby talk to bears, they run from me. So I made a concerted effort to keep my voice low and deep. I only had to whisper since we were so close.

"Hi friend" I whispered. "We won't hurt you. I just want to be your friend." I am pretty sure I went on to tell him that I would be happy to clean off his head as he was all kinds of disheveled. I am not sure if it is because I spoke, or because the Wolf was giving off vibes that were opposite of my friend speech, or if he didn't want me to clean his head, but at this point, our new bear friend finally decided to turn around and make a run for it. It was all I could do to not yell after him that he runs funny and that I love bear butts! But Josie took off at a run to chase him, so my sole focus suddenly became not face planting.

Once I got Josie stopped and told her we could not chase the bear, I realized a few things. One, having only rubbed ourselves in catnip before the hike did not help us make friends with the bear. Two, I had not brought the can of tuna I sometimes do for the bears which might have helped us. Three, I really should hike with honey. Four, we now needed to hike up the trail in the same direction the bear just went. Five, why had the bear jumped so high in fear? What on earth did he think was out here since he is the apex predator? Finally, six, my Wolf is better than bear spray man. If she had not been there, I would be dead.

"Can't be helped" I said to Josie as we followed the bear. "We have to go that same way." It was our plan to hike up to that ridge-line view point for sunset. "God forbid I change our plans" I said with a smile knowing I also secretly wanted to follow the bear. But, since I do have a little reason in the few brain cells in my skull, I made us walk slowly after him. Josie was six feet in front when she turned around a sharp bend in the trail before I did. She came to an abrupt stop and was signaling me that there was something very exciting right ahead of her that I could not yet see. A feeling of dread filled my abdomen as I imagined a family of angry bears standing on their hind legs around the corner ready to get some payback. I bet Mama bear is around the corner and Josie is happy about it, I thought. I debated pulling the gun out of my holster before turning the corner. But I did not. I peeked around the corner while once again holding my breath.

There was nothing there. Nothing. But the Wolf is never wrong. So I stood still and looked all around, peering through the thick trees. Nothing. We took one step forward and like a rocket, three giant pheasants (I call them mountain chickens) screamed and flew straight into the air in front of our faces from the low brush at our feet. I screamed a very long, loud curse word. Clearly I was jumpy. "Well, now every bear within a one mile radius knows we are here" I told Josie. "My job here is done" I smiled at her as we kept hiking, knowing I had just broken the cardinal rule about silence on the trail.

That final mile up to the view point passed in seconds as I think we may have been running straight up the rocky trail. As we almost got to the top, I noticed an awesome rock cairn off to my right. Proof of life, I thought. I was in survival mode.

It was quite tall and I knew that if I tried to add to it, my still shaking hands from the adrenaline dump I was in would topple the whole thing. So I stayed far away. I was slightly disappointed when we reached the viewpoint and found the wildfire smoke had really moved in on the mountain. We could barely make the peak out.

We sat for some time reminiscing about our amazing bear encounter and getting past the adrenaline shakes while sucking in the smokey air. I realistically knew it was dumb to get the drop on a bear, but I also knew I would do it again in a heartbeat as it was so much fun. What a hike I thought! We stayed and watched the sun lower in the sky before starting our hike out.

We were moving fast as we hiked out, racing the sun to see if we could make it to the truck before dark without needing our flashlights. As we moved, we were scaring deer all around us. "Sorry!" I called to them as we kept running, once more breaking the silence rule. "Who was I?" I asked Josie.

As we neared the trailhead, I had to stop to ponder a sign that I really like. There is so much truth in this sign. Our future in being able to enjoy these wild places is on the line. The future of our bear friend, who may have nightmares for some time about the clicking woman and the Wolf in a harness, is at risk. We must treasure these wild places and creatures and do whatever we can to keep them protected. I don't know what the answer is to try to reduce these wildfires, but they are eating up the wild places more and more each year. We must try to value the wilderness and its future however we can. We must view our relationship with nature differently.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Jeremiah 29:11